Not your fault
by Liz Jean Tonks
Summary: After Sirius' death, Harry believes everything was his fault. He and Remus have a little talk. Written for the Hogwarts Forum.


**AN**: Written for the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Assignement #2.

**Name**: Liz Jean Tonks

**House**: Gryffindor

**Subject/Task No**.: Games Development/Task 8 - Professor Oak from Pokemon - Write about a mentor.

**Word Count**: 855

**Summary**: Harry and Remus have a little talk after Sirius' death.

Thanks a lot to Mason, my beta :)

* * *

Harry was sitting in Umbridge's office and waited. Not for Umbridge, obviously – she had already left the school, and nothing was left of the pink colours and the cat plates. _A very pleasant change_, Harry thought.

He stared down at his hands and wondered how long it would take for Remus to get here. He was probably still with Dumbledore, but he had asked him to wait in his old office. Harry wondered what he wanted to talk to him about. Harry didn't want to talk about Sirius, or anything else that happened in the Ministry. He just wanted to go to bed, to hide his face in his pillow and fall asleep. Maybe when he woke up, he'd find out everything had been a dream, that they never went to the Ministry and that Sirius was still alive...

The door opened. Harry looked up and into Remus' bright, friendly eyes.

"Hey, Harry," Remus said, sitting down on a chair in front of Harry.

"Hey," Harry mumbled, still looking down at his hands.

"Harry," Remus said, taking his hand. "I am so – "

"Don't," Harry said, his voice shaking. "Don't say it."  
There was a moment of silence.

"I don't want to talk," Harry said finally, looking up. He couldn't help but tear up and hoped Remus wouldn't notice it. "I know you mean well, but I don't want to talk."

"I can understand that," Remus said softly. "So how about this? I'll do the talking, and you just listen. Does that sound alright?"

Harry bit his lip. "Yeah, okay. But I don't want to hear about how it wasn't my fault. Because it was. I know it was. And there's nothing you can say that can convince me otherwise."

"I'm not discussing with you whose fault it was, though I have to tell you, it was Sirius' decision to come to the Ministry, and you are not to be blamed of his death, no matter what you're thinking." Harry opened his mouth to object, but Remus went on. "What I actually wanted to tell you, Harry, is that you reminded me of someone today. Someone I knew well."

"Who?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

Remus smiled. "I think we both know the answer to that question. Your Dad wouldn't have hesitated a second if a friend of his was in danger. And Sirius, he was the same way. You have no idea how much you're alike." He carefully stroked Harry's hand. "Sirius was proud of you. And your Dad would have been, too. You've done nothing wrong, Harry."

Harry wanted to believe him. But all he could think about was that if something, anything, had happened differently, his father and godfather might still be alive. If he hadn't been there, none of this would have happened... If Sirius and James had acted the way he had, it only proved they were all fools. Hermione had been right when she had told him to stay at the school... Why hadn't he listened to her? Why did he have to play the brave Gryffindor?

"I screwed up," he mumbled. "It's my fault I can't talk to him anymore, can't see him anymore... It was so wrong of me what I did."

"Maybe it seems wrong now," Remus said gently, "but a couple of hours ago, you thought it was right. Imagine you didn't go there, and Voldemort had indeed captured Sirius – how would you feel now?" He looked Harry straight in the eyes. "Sometimes we have to make decisions in life," he said, "and some will turn out to be right, and some will turn out to be wrong. You did what you thought to be the best decision. And there is nothing wrong about that."

Harry didn't have a reply to that. He had never seen it that way, but what difference did it make? "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "He's dead."

"Yes," Remus said in a gentle voice that calmed Harry. "And you have every right to be sad. But can you understand that you've done nothing wrong?"

Harry looked up at him. "I can try," he said in a low voice.

Remus gave him a faint smile. "I want you to know that I'm always there for you, okay? Sirius wasn't the only family you had left, even if I'm not your godfather."

Now, Harry smiled, too. He didn't know what to say. "Thanks, Remus."

Remus looked at the clock. "If there's nothing else you want to talk about right now, I won't waste any more of your time. You should get some rest."

Harry nodded. "I'll try," he said weakly.

Remus escorted him out of the room. "I can't come and see you tomorrow, I'm afraid," he said, looking out of the window. "You know, this time of month... But I promise I'll visit you as soon as I can. We could go to Hogsmeade, what do you think?"

"Sure," Harry mumbled. He really appreciated Remus' offer, but right now he wasn't in the mood to make plans. "See you then," he said quietly. "Good night."

Remus smiled. "Good night, Harry. Sleep well."


End file.
